Do you practice these five nice guy habits? We’ll get to them shortly.
But here’s a confession straight out of the mouth of Yours Dangerous. I used to have these habits when I was young. For some reason, I thought standing up to someone who was mistreating a girl was a good thing to do. I thought that it was good of me to handle rejection by asking “well why not” and get huffy about it. Think of a nice guy habit that you might have done in your life, I’ve probably done it to.
And the result is just the same: it doesn’t work like that. Chalk it up to learning something the hard way.
Below are five of the common “nice guy” habits that you’re probably practicing right now. If you know you’ve done these in the past, don’t be ashamed. At one point, you’ll probably be in denial…maybe feel a little pissed off. Either way, you’ll come to the realization that being the “nice guy” will always be reserved for the Hollywood movies.
With that, let’s get started with the list of nice guy habits you need to ditch right now:
- Neediness: Ah yes. This is a big one. And I’ve written a post on why neediness is a disease. If you haven’t read it, go here (just open it in a new tab so you can pick up where you left off). Finished? OK, so now that you have self-diagnosed yourself with neediness, you now have the antidote to cure yourself. Neediness to girls will turn them off so fast, your head will spin. Texting them, messaging them incessantly. Yeah…not the way to go. Moving on.
- Complimenting: To give a girl a compliment for the sake of giving a compliment is not always a bad thing. But doing it often with an ulterior motive? Not a good thing. Believe it or not, I see this all the time with the thirsty comments that are plastered on social media. Go to some girl’s Instagram and go through the comments and you’ll see what I mean. That level of thirst will not fly.
- Handling Rejection Poorly: I know this is one of the symptoms of neediness, but I feel like it needs its own mention on this list. For example, let’s say you approach a girl. She puts her hand up and flat out denies you. In this situation, what do you do? Scream in her face and call her a bitch? Or do you just shrug your shoulders and say “OK” in a way that says “your loss, sweetie”? The latter is the best option. Sure, rejection hurts like hell. But having rock solid frame will help you absorb the shock of nasty rejection.
- Agreeing With A Girl, Even If You Know She’s Wrong: Have you ever had a buddy that would throw you under the bus in the name of getting laid? This happens all the time. Suppose you and a girl about some debate about something trivial. She has an opinion; you disagree with it for a good reason. But here comes your buddy saying, “I agree with her”. OK, it’s acceptable if he agrees with her on one thing. But if he agrees with a girl on something, even if what she says is absolutely false, then it’s obvious. He’s doing it in such a try hard way. The same when he consistently takes her side over yours. If you have a friend who will consistently throw you under the bus as part of his valiant effort of getting laid, does he really respect you? If the answer is no, softly ghost him.
- “White Knighting”: If you think playing the hero and saving a girl will guaranteed to get you a date or get you laid, then you’re about to be hit with a brick of truth. Playing the “hero” and sticking up for her against some guy who you think is an “asshole” is not going to get you the girl. This “hero” shit and saving the fair maidens can only be reserved for fairy tales and Hollywood movies. But once again, this ain’t Hollywood. And I speak from experience also. I’ve stuck up for girls before and where has that landed me? Nine times out of ten…the friend zone. Thankfully, I didn’t get my ass kicked (but you may or may not have in the past). It’s better to be the “anti-hero” than the hero.
By the way, I’m in the planning stages of writing a book about how you can be an anti-hero (which I plan on dropping at some point this summer). I won’t go into much detail for the moment, but keep your eyes peeled on the blog so you stay in the know.
If you think being a “nice guy” is going to get you anywhere with girls, then you’re wrong. You might have done these five things listed above. And what was the result? If you’re tired of being walked all over and hate the “nice guy” label being thrown around to describe you, it’s time for a change. Drop these five habits you’re doing now and become a man of Danger.