Neediness is a disease. And it’s something that you may have if you suffer from the “symptoms” of it. I’ll list those here shortly. But nothing can kill your attractiveness, charm, and charisma dead like neediness. In fact, it’s the one thing that will guarantee you from being denied a date with a girl, doing business with a client, or building a social circle. No man…not even a Dangerous man should ever be a needy man.
A needy man is not a self-improved man. But a self-improved man is cured from his neediness.
But the question is: are you a needy man? You may deny it. But your actions will tell you otherwise. As you go through this list of symptoms, ask yourself “do I do this” and answer yourself honestly. Do you…
- Fear being disliked by people.
- Get upset when someone says “no” or if you get rejected.
- Fear losing friends or a girl.
- Respect people, even if they continue to disrespect you.
- Struggle to say “no”.
- Ask people to hang out with you as opposed to inviting them.
- Check your phone to see if there a girl, a friend, potential client, etc. responded back to your message.
- Make yourself available all the time.
- Get mad when no one makes time for you.
- You frequently ask for outside validation or approval.
If you have done one or a combination of what’s listed about, then you are indeed suffering from neediness. But, don’t beat yourself up over it.
This isn’t a disease that obviously won’t kill you. But as mentioned before, it can kill any attraction a girl has for you. It can even kill off any chances of working with clients that would otherwise speak highly of you and the work you would have done for them.
However, neediness is a curable disease. All you have to do is follow this treatment plan prescribed by Dr. Danger himself. To cure yourself of neediness, apply the following:
Stop Giving A Fuck: Why should you care if anyone doesn’t like you? It’s your life. It’s your terms. People will hate you for being successful. People won’t think too highly of you for whatever reason. But, it’s more their problem than it is yours.
Be Prepared To Walk Away: I get it. Girls come and go. Clients offer you a shitty deal and ask you to “take it or leave it”. If you’re on a date with a girl and she’s showing some red flags, eject when you see an opportunity. Sure, you’ll want a girl to date for the long-term. But it’s not worth the headache of dealing with whatever issues she might have. Same way with potential clients. Sure, you want the money. But if they pitch you some lowball offer, it’s better to walk away and move on than get paid shitty money for a ton of work. You know your worth and your value.
Detach Yourself From The Outcome: It’s no surprise that a lot of us are all outcome dependent. If it’s good, we’re happy. If it doesn’t turn out in our favor, we get disappointed. The important thing to do is not worry about what happens. The attempt was enough. If you succeed, you chalk it up to a win and move forward. If you fail, don’t dwell on it. Figure out why it didn’t go the way you intended it to go and chalk it up to a learning experience. A lot of successful people fail more than they do succeed.
Set Some Time For Yourself: Making yourself available to everyone is never a good thing. There’s going to be a time when you’re busy with something. Maybe it’s a personal project. Or something big that you’re working with a client. Whatever it is, you’re committed to getting it done. If a girl asks you to see her and you’re busy with something, don’t be afraid to say “not now”. If a buddy wants you to hit the town with him and grab a few drinks, don’t be afraid to say “not tonight” if you’re busy. You can make yourself available on your terms. Making yourself available all the time is not that.
Don’t Get Upset: Your girlfriend breaks up with you. Your friend doesn’t support your mission towards being a Dangerous man and decides to hang out with “better friends”. You shrug and say “fine by me”. A real friend is supportive of your goals and dreams. A real girl would understand how busy you can be. It’s all about having rock solid frame. Getting upset about losing a girl or your friends should the one the last things you do.
If you’re suffering from neediness, don’t feel ashamed. All you need to do is follow the treatment plan above on a regular basis and you’ll see your life change. It may feel weird at first. But, it’s all part of being a better man. Cure yourself from neediness and you’ll become more confident, interesting, and yes…even more attractive.