There was a time when people did not have a good opinion of me. And when I’d hear it, it would bother me. And it would be something that would stay stuck in my head for a day. As a result, it brought my self-confidence down.
Right now, you’re probably in that position yourself. Or at one point you were. And it made you feel like shit for some reason. This is something that you and I both know too well.
The question that you need to ask is: why the fuck should someone else’s opinion of you matter? Why do you need external validation?
It’s one thing for people to sing praises about you or talk highly about you. But you’ve earned it through your actions and the way you carry yourself. You did it without even thinking about what others thought. In other words, you didn’t give a fuck. The least you can do is say “thank you” and move on.
Trying to seek someone else’s opinion or approval is not what you want to do. Even if the opinion is good, you’ll continue to seek outside validation. I’ve seen this happen to a good handful of people. When negative opinions seep through, it somehow bothers them. They allow their self-confidence to take a hit.
It’s the same way with social media. Some will post for the sake of outside validation and approval. When they don’t get it, they feel like no one likes them or appreciates them. And then they all of a sudden shut down their social media accounts.
If you’re on social media, don’t use it as a tool for some outside validation or artificial ego inflating. You’ll see some of them do this. And someday, reality will come crashing down on them hard.
This is no way to live. If this is you, now is the time to stop.
It’s time to stop worrying about what other people think of you. It’s time to focus on you and your mission in life. If anyone doesn’t think too much of you, that’s more their problem than it is yours. Why should you care about them or their opinion?
If you feel bothered by someone else’s negative opinion, it throws you off your game. It takes focus off the mission you’re keeping an eye on. Same way when you ask for someone’s approval about something. If it’s positive, you get that false confidence boost. If it’s negative or even a hint of criticism, you deflate.
If anything, then negative opinions of people should fuel you. Fuel you to become more driven to your mission in life (whatever that might be). If it angers you, don’t lash it out on some poor fellow who had nothing to do with it. Convert your anger into fuel. Fuel that will drive you to pursue your goals with a lot more vigor. When you pursue your goals consistently and ruthlessly, your success is assured. In the words of the late, great Frank Sinatra:
“The best revenge is massive success.”
The people who have less than positive opinions about you are probably insecure about themselves. If you let them discourage you, they’ll keep doing it. It’s what they thrive off of. And it’s the best thing they can do because they’re so goddamn bored all the time.
But what if someone told you to your face that you were the most annoying thing on Earth? No kidding, I was called that to my face a few times growing up. Knowing what I know now (if I knew then), I would have said something like: “That’s why they pay me the big bucks” or something absurd. You got to love good ol’ “agree and amplify”. I’ll write a post about that soon.
That being said, gentlemen…it’s time to stop seeking external validation. It’s time to stop letting whatever negative opinion of yourself bother you. If you have an ultimate goal to achieve, keep working on it.